file no. 2026

 

i am ratifying a new constitution today.

for too long the borders of this country have been porous.

i have left too many refugees.

set up permanent camps in the capital city of my heart.


but this year we are not declaring war.

war is exhausting, bad for the economy.

instead issuing visas.

randomness is allowed to visit but it must show a return ticket.

empathy is granted diplomatic immunity.

but remember it cannot bankrupt the treasury.


i am declaring myself a sovereign state.

the trade routes remain open.

and i will export my gratefulness in bulk.

but the import taxes on unsolicited guilt just went up by 200%.


IN THIS ASSEMBLY,

on the very first day of the new cycle,

I do HEREBY ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO MYSELF

this constitution.

                                                                                                                        - Tanu ki Kalam se...

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